Friday, November 21, 2008

You Are So Not Metro...Sexual

Good Morning Fellow Readers,

I woke up this morning feeling quite refreshed and thought "Today is going to be a good day!" I then proceeded to shower and pick out a great outfit fitting of my mood and got into the car. There was harldy any traffic on the highway on the way to the metro and there was plenty of parking in the garage. My mood elevated. I took the escalator down and headed towards the metro where I picked up my copy of Express and went to load more fare to my smart trip. I boarded the 2nd car down from the front and sat down...then it all came crashing down.

Let's just discuss for a minute what was going on in car #1. The person I sat next to smelled of cold cuts. Tranny. The person standing up next to me looked like a, well...tranny. Lastly there was a mentally off gentleman muttering lord knows to himself behind me. Done! I got up and went to two cars down and found a peaceful spot near the front of the train. Mind you I'm in Vienna on the way to Chinatown/Gallery Place so I was in for a long haul.

People came and went, boarded, and got off and I sat there the whole time with my sunglasses on taking in the lot. I can't help but really enjoy a good metro ride into the city. Being a silent observer of people, I, of course, look at each and every person that surrounds me. And I have found that there are always the same types of people who partake in DC's fine public transportation system.

1. The people who think that standing and reading a book/doing a crossword is a great way to ride in. I like to watch these folks in particular who try and time the metro ride just right to squeeze in an answer or turn the page just before they have to grip the bar in order to not fall into the person next to them. Sit down or find something better to do with your time! BYE!
2. The women/girls and sometimes men who wear tenni pumps to ease their weary soles on the way to work and then change into pumps or dress shoes when they arrive. Excuse me but I'm pretty sure the saying is "Beauty knows no pain!" If you can't find comfortable heels/shoes to commute in then wear flats or stay home. Sneakers are disgusting when wore with say...tights and a skirt. BYE!
3. Lastly there are the people who find it necessary to talk on the phone/crackberry. I understand that sometimes its important, but the entire metro does not need to hear about your shit on an early morning commute into the city. Keep your drunken sotries about how wasted you were at happy hour and Bobby felt you up but then hit on another girl while making out with your bestfriend's sister at Rock Bottom during $1.50 beer night. GOOD! BYE!

All in all riding the metro provides for an exciting obesrvation on human life during rush hour commute. People are in such a hurry that they rarely take the time to look around at the hundreds of other people trying to work it out just the same as you. Next time you commute in, take the time to slow down when going through the turnstile and down the stairs (the next train's coming in 3 minutes). Look at those around you...what they're doing, what they're wearing. Make up stories in your head about where they're going and what they did the night before...I find it very amusing. The commute in to the city always seems to be a little shorter when I think that I'm better off because I'm not wearing sneakers with dress pants or carrying around a big purse to make up for the short comings of my small and measley self confidence and personality!

Love you, mean it!


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