Shalom good people and Happy Thursday!
The big day is just around the corner and I thought it more than appropriate to address the many goings on that surround this much anticipated day. For me, personally, it hasn't really felt like the holidays. I still have a crappy paying job and left with no money to show my affection to those that I care most about. This year, I've decided everyone is getting handmade gifts from things I find in nature or around the house. Ideas include but are not limited to the following: Pine cone necklaces, used candles, shrubbery cleverly made into a scarf, and socks. (Everyone enjoys a good pair of socks! Right?)
Being that I'm a struggling 24 year old I haven't asked for much this Christmas with the exception of two things...which if you know me you'll already know what two things I'm talking about. 1. A Job and 2. A Boy. Now that's complicated because it leaves room for much interpretation to the ambiguousness of my request so let me explain. I need a job that pays well enough to meet my meager desires of youth and responsibility. In other words, bitch has got to pay his bills and have money enough to indulge in the finer things in life such as alcohol and clothes...what else? This is proving to be a challenge for me because I, along with the rest of tranny America, is struggling in this shit of an economy. Despite my resume being packed with solid experience and a personality for days, I can't get employment because I'm competing against an ass load of other applicants trying to make it work too. Thus is why I asked for a job for Christmas...maybe, at the end of the day, the fat man in the red suit can lend a helping hand and stuff an offer letter into my stocking...no sexual pun intended so don't even go there ;)
The second thing I asked for this Christmas is a Boy. Though I officially am outside of my rights, at this point, to make a judgement call on that I have landed a rather personable, attractive gentlemen affectionately called Rescue Me Joe. (See previous posts for further explanation). Technically speaking I got what I wanted but we're still in the "getting-to-know-you" portion of things...which is fine by me. The last thing I need right now is a full fledged relationship to which I'm monetarily inadequate to fullfill. NEWSFLASH! Living in Gainesville is completely not ok for a city girl trying to make it..especially when one is pursuing and being pursued by probably the nicest, most straightforward person I have ever met. Which brings us back to the job...it is pertinent that I find something suitable so I can quit feeling insecure about myself and join the rest of the professional twenty-somethings that attend things such as Happy Hours and Company Holiday parties. What are those? I don't know but I am determined to find out!
I guess all told, at the end of the day the best thing for me to do would be to pack my shit and move back home with my mother...you know, save money. In other words kill myself! Love the family to death...but that would just be a death sentence on my part. My friends keep telling me to keep going and push through but this is damn hard and I'm starting to get tired of making an effort that continues to be fruitless. I told myself that if I didn't get it together by the end of December I was going to give up...now that I have Rescue Me Joe I have a little more motivation to keep going. At least there won't be any expectation of a lavish lifestyle with me...Joe-"What's for dinner?" Me-"Ramen and tuna from a can!" And I don't even like tuna! Ok maybe not that bad but its definitely what it feels like at the moment.
In conclusion, the holidays are just another reason to introspect on your current life situation. Mine...almost absolute shit BUT I have people I know that care about me enough to want to see me succeed and I now have Joe to stick around for and give it a good shot. I think its worth it, at least. If any of you are in my position, holler back and we'll make handmade presents from pinecones and shrubbery together. I'll provide the hot glue gun and you provide the hardships you bear so that we can commiserate on them together over a large bottle of wine...or brandy...but probably wine because brandy is expensive!