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Friday, January 23, 2009

Shakespeare, America, and Your Mom


Good afternoon:


Congratulations and thank you to everyone for their hard work withthe demanding events over the weekend through Tuesday. Everythingwas well received and we made many new friends.


I am pleased to announce Ray Bracken will be leaving his post at thebox office and joining us here at 516 as my assistant and also tohelp Chris Jennings with his phone calls and schedule. Ray begins onMonday, 26 January 2009 and will be transitioning with Steven for afew days so please be patient and cotinue to double check yourmeeting confirmations and voice-mail mesages for the next few days.Please join me in welcoming Ray.


A welcome breakfast for Ray will beannounced early next week.


Take care,


Michael


Shalom and good afternoogen,


Above is an email that went out to the entire company here at Shakespeare Theatre Company sent by Michael Kahn himself! If you don't know who he is you should google him and click on his wikipedia page...he's the artistic director here and a very important man. So that email went out and I got even more excited to start my new job on Monday. Its going to be like Devil Wears Prada in the theatre world...except Michael Kahn isn't a raging bitch like Meryl Streep was in the movie! It makes my commute about 20 minutes longer but who the heck cares!! I'm Michael Kahn's assistant and when I leave his service I will have a very solid reference and, hopefully, a lot of doors opened for me :)


Sorry readers, that I have been MIA lately. I just don't really have anything interesting to discuss that are worth an entire post about. Although my friend Popped Collar and I had a very lengthy discussion regarding one night stands and the logistics behind the walk of shame. There are definitely pros and cons to going home with someone vs. bringing someone home with you. It was an interesting topic and worth a discussion. If you have any thoughts on the matter please feel free to comment. In fact, it'd be nice to get a comment or two from the readers out there. Feedback is always helpful in creating new and improved postings. Care to know my thoughts on anything? Advice? I got lots!! I mean its not everyday that you have an easily accessible gay man to answer your questions and tell you "Your boobs look great in that top," or to reaffirm you distaste for the male sex and then provide you tips on how to pick one of them up that evening!


No real updates on the 2009 other than the job breakthrough. I still haven't run into Resuce Me Fucktard since New Year's...which is probably a good thing because I don't need to be wasting an expensive martini by dumping it on his head...its better served in my stomache :) The Ex, I believe, has a new play thing or whatever he is. Kind of cute in the dorky, big dark framed glasses kind of way. Good for him...hopefully he's found someone that puts up with his bullshit the way I did. He also seems to have lost weight which is also good! I have still not recomitted to the gym...it truly was a one time thing. I've accepted my place on the couch with Doritos and Milk at 3am when I can't sleep!


Inauguration was crazy! I'm so glad Obama has control now but nervous that people are putting too much emphasis on him and not being realistic about how long its going to take to fix this messed up economy! Hello?! America is like finding the perfect outfit complete with an Ed Hardy t-shirt, Citizen jeans, Puma shoes, and Dolce sunglasses. You can't just replace that shit with something like a blazer from Kohl's....omg VOM! It takes time to find the perfect outfit just like its going to take time for America to recover. I mean Bush is gone like a bad outbreak of genital herpes but Obama isn't the cure...yet.


Alright enough with the metaphors...now I'm starting to sounds like a Tranny! So I'm done talking for now. Like I said lend me your thoughts or questions...I'd love to answer them. Its a lot better than taking the energy to make fun of other people...really I can just make fun of you ;) J/K!


JJ


Thursday, January 15, 2009

2009...an Update

Good Afternoon and a Heif,

Its been quite a rollercoaster of fun on my end of things, let me tell you. 2009 has definitely had its ups and downs so far and we're only 15 days in...oucha magoucha!

I've been keeping up with the grooming...arms = still shaved. As far as my venture of casual encounters is concerned the number is 1 hook up and a make out session at Town. Trying to keep it on the low key...can't be catching diseases; that would not look good to my social standing! I even attempted a gym routine which lasted 1 day. I should have taken my own advice and sat my fat ass on the couch and ate my doritos like the rest of America but I foolishly attempted otherwise. What as I thinking? My interviews have been going well...everything seems to be pointing me to one position in particular which I'm having the second round conducted tomorrow...Wish me luck because its the one I really want!

Other than that 2009 has proven to be the same old bullshit as 2008. I'm still a struggling broke ass and still dealing with the same nonsense. As I mentioned I'm trying to steer away from the drama but yet it somehow continues to find its way in my life...kind of like a bad case of crabs that require shaving and good delousing to get rid of. The bitches just won't go away. But I see it as an opportunity for growth and rather stick a prada boot in the ass of annoyances I'll settle for a lengthy discussion to improve the day-to-day lives of myself and those around me.

People should do the same. Chill, relax...take a vicodin and pour yourself a cocktail. (My drink of choice Jack Daniels of course!) 2009 is going to be full of surprises, I'm sure. Not all of it is going to be good but being optimistic is the only way I know how to deal with the stressful things going in my life at the moment. Looking on the brightside I'm not in jail...yet...and I'm finding creative new ways to put outfits together to make it look like I have new clothes despite the fact that I haven't gotten any new clothes in 3 months! Creativity people! That or being gay? Whichever works best for you. I reccomend being gay...at least when we're bitchy its completely expected and unsurprising. Kind of like when a woman on her period is speaking. Just nod and say ok and we'll be placated until the next ridiculous thing happens that sends us spinning off into a whirlwind of flying shoes and bronzer compacts! Just let it happen, seriously...just let it happen...you'll be safer that way ;)

Alllllright...well I'm out for now. This wasn't a terribly interesting post but I guess I can't be on point all the time. Well maybe I can...everyone should strive for perfection because seeing you in that outfit makes me wonder if you got dressed in the dark! As I mentioned in my last post...look in the mirror every once in a while...just because we're all poor doesn't mean we have to look like it :)

Peace Bitches!

JJ

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Auld Lang Syne and all that nonsense...2009; And so it begins

Happy New year all that Jazz! I know I've been on a little break, but a LOT has happened since my last post and I needed a breather to consolidate it all before continuing with the many adventures of Just Jack. So here goes...

First, things with Rescue Me Joe are done. I should be more upset but, its 2009...new year, new me? But that's what everyone says when the new year rolls around and we all say "I'm going to lose 10 lbs" and flood the gym for a month before returning to your slovenly self. Do yourself a favor and just accept the fact that you're fat and enjoy life! Anyway...back to Joe. I said that things were being weird and so we kind of talked about it a bit and he wanted to slow things down. I was suprised because that bitch was the one who was putting the foot to the gas. Its kind of hard to "slow down" when someone sends you messages like "You're completely different than everyone I've ever dated." and "I want to spend a long time getting to know you and making it work no matter what it takes." ...Did you just vom in your mouth because I did...and then all over my sweater vest!

New Year's Eve...he walks into the bar I'm at...gives me a half ass hug and continues to coat check and then upstairs. I don't see him for the rest of the night. But I didn't let that stop me from having a great time...more in a bit. So that was a dick thing to do. THEN I don't hear from him for two days and then Friday morning I find that the asshole defriended me on Facebook. Um are you five? Get over yourself you big asshole! I was more angry that he didn't have the balls to say something to my face like a real man but instead took me off his friend list...really classy jerk off. I hope you get pricked by an infected needle and your dick goes limp permanently.

But I'm not angry ;) In all honesty I'm completely over the situation and think its funny more than anything. I've decided to move towards a whore approach to my life situation right now. Nothing but down and dirty, sweaty sex with attractive gentlemen (safe of course). Screw relationships, I'm tired of putting in effort with losers!

Back to New Year's Eve. The night, other than Rescue Me Fuck Face, was amazing. Halo for martini's, JR's for champagne toast, and Cobalt for late night dancing. All with a great group of people including Straight Lady, of course, and our friends Chocolate Chip and Legs McGee. I even made out with all three of them in a totally blacked out platonic sense....It. Was. Awesome!

Other than that the new year has been good to me thus far. I have three interviews lined up for great jobs so even if I don't get a single one of them I know that there is hope for this economy and for me to keep pushing on! Among my new year's resolutions I'm trying to quit bad habits...trying being the operative word...and looking more put together...which for now means shaving my upper arm hair. Don't judge, it makes a world of difference and if you're a hairy tranny maybe you should try it too along with that disgusting back hair you have...GOOD Bye! Other than that I don't really have any resolutions other than to just take care of myself more. Fuck other people right now...I have big problems and can't be dealing with other people's petty drama so keep it to yourself. I'm tired of hearing how you got drunk and made out with so and so and then turned around and slept with your ex. I don't have time for it and I definitely don't have time for those tranny pumps you're probably wearing. Word of advice...look in the mirror, it helps!

I guess what I'm trying to say is stop being the person you think everyone wants you to be. Its time to start living life the way you intended it and not for anyone else. I know that's cheesy but its true. The world is changing right now and it might be a good idea to reassess yourself and make some changes...real, honest, attainable changes that make you happy in the long run. Just make sure it doesn't involve discount shopping...no one likes a whore in fake gucci!

Love you mean it!

JJ