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Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?

Ok, so maybe I'm not Carmen Sandiego but I have been MIA for a couple weeks now. I know! I know! But I haven't heard any complaining from any of you tranny gumshoes so I haven't had the motivation to write. Besides I'm totally busy and important at work...ok well maybe not important but busy; yes ma'am pam-a-lot! Calling Linda Carter and Supreme Court Justices is exhausting work ;)

Anywho, it has been a crazy past few weeks. Lots has happened, although nothing too significant. Obviously work is continuing to go well. Nothing like coming to my office in the morning, working all day on awesome projects and events, and then leaving at night to go see a show for free somewhere. Like, A Chorus Line...holy buckets let me tell you! So I get four free tickets to the national tour of A Chorus Line and take 3 of my queens to go to drinks and a show. The dancers/singers in the show were so gorgeous we all had a private moment with Jesus then briefly excused ourselves to the ladies room. They were all toned and muscular and sweaty and well...enough said. I just got four tickets to see Chicago next week...not as hot but still awesome to go for FREE!

Moving on to my personal life. I met someone. Woo hoo? We'll see. I had a blind date last week. I hate blind dates because 1. I don't know you 2. People never look like they do in their pictures.

(Which I'd like to take a minute and diverge. Why is that? I mean I understand choosing the best pictures you have that make you look good, but if you know that you don't look like that in person why set someone up for disappointment? If you're ugly, understand that and post accordingly. It doesn't help your situation if you go to meet someone and they think you look like one thing only to find out you look like some troll from the Brooklyn Bridge with bad teeth and a wonky eye. BYE! Its better to just not embarass yourself publicly and make it awkward for the other person to bow out gracefully. I, however, think I look the same in my pictures as I do in person. Thoughts? I'd like to know!! And I guess I'll divulge that I met this boy through an online site, and no it was not Manhunt or or any other disgusting website that you exchange naked pictures and discuss what sexual positions you'll be peforming directly following drinks at the club! Also...BYE!)

Ok back to it. 3. There's no easy way to peace out if you're completely not interested. I mean, what do you do if they want your number and you don't want to give it. Or maybe you have mutual friends which could screw things up....So many factors against blind dates but, I had to take the risk. I had nothing to lose really and its time for me to get out there in the field again. Aside from Rescue Me Fuck Face I haven't really put myself out there. Its hard, you know. Thinking all you want is a good romp in the sack but, deep down we want to be with someone that cares for you uncoditionally; someone to cuddle with and share similar interests on a deeply personal level. Right? Alright enough of the sappy bull shit, back to the story.
So I meet...and we'll call him Buddy. So I meet Buddy at Vinoteca for some wine. Cute place, great happy hour specials on wine; I highly reccommend! Three hours later we get up to leave. Awesome! The conversation was great, there was no awkward silences, and it didn't hurt that he was adorable to look at. We hit it off great, at least I think so and we have plans for him to come to BSpears evening (more later) on Friday. Which he did...again hit it off great and I ended up going home with him for the evening. We talked a bunch at one point told me that he didn't think I was genuinely intersted when I first sent him a message. I asked why and Buddy responded "Because I didn't think that someone like you would ever be interested in somone like me." I melted...puddle, drool, liquid mush. It was the most flattering thing anyone has ever said to me. Needless to say we have a lot in common and even though he's a big nerd, I like that because on some levels I am too.

We'll see how this one goes. I'm not trying to put any expectations on the situation because, you know me...I get attached becasue I think its a good thing and then left without a reasonable explanation. I'm done wasting my time and even though I hope this one won't turn out to be like every other jerk off out there...I'm still being cautious! We're doing dinner and a movie at his place tomorrow. Let's see if I can charm Mr. Buddy with my mean chicken parm and hope he picks a good movie :) Will update accordingly!

I'm tired of typing and I'm hungry for my buffalo chicken dip and peanut butter sandwhich in the fridge so I'm peacing out. I'll divulge more on Britney Spears nigh including my t-shirt, Straight Lady and her new beaux ;), and the all around debaucherousness of my fellow co-workers and STC actors.



Tuesday, March 10, 2009

To Be or Not To Be....A Tranny?

House Report: It seems that one of our patrons ate the display ├ęclair this evening. He ordered it, paid for it, and before the cashier could get a fresh one he had eaten the display one.

A day in the life of an Executive Assistant:

I thought, since I've been so busy at work and hadn't posted anything in a while I'd share a few of my experiences in my new job. The above is just one of many dumb things patrons do during a show. Most of them are 89 years old with more than one foot in the grave which would explain the eating of a plastic display pastry. They're just happy to be alive and going to the "theata" for a classy evening of Shakespeare. Little do they know that when their bladder releases at inopportune moments leaving a trail of pittle on the way to the bathroom, all of us here at work get to read about it the next morning! (Yes that happened too).

Upon arriving at work I sit down and sort through a mountain of emails...mostly spam from the old assistant, who was fired. If you'd like to know more ask me and I'd be happy to recount the big mess that bitch created that I am currently helping to clean up two months later. But as someone put it, it was because of his stupidity that I have a job. So if you're out there, kiddo, a big thank you for making the biggest mistake of your career so that I can start mine :) Nothing like knowing that you'll never get a job in theatre again! Oh and, don't drop the soap ;)

After emails I check my to do list and check in with Michael (moving foward; MK). Sometimes days are crazy, others are quiet but I have gotten to do some pretty cool things thus far. At least to me. I may not be performing surgery or working with lab rats but I am in a position that makes me happy and gives me full, uninhibited access to the largest theater in DC much less the entire DC arts community. Plus I just got baller business cards which makes me feel like a professional again AND I get to take a Directing Class with the Associate Artistic Director for free!

Going over my to do list from last week:

1. Send correspondance to the following people: Justice Ginsburg, Chelsea and Hilary Clinton, Michelle Obama's social secretary, Justice Alito, Stephen Beyer and many more. (There's an awesome event we're planning here at STC and inviting all these members of the administration both new and old to introduce to the arts in DC).
2. Call the three leads from Dog in the Manger and schedule them for drinks on Tuesday. (I have a secret crush on David Turner; he was the lead in the national tour of Spamalot).
3. Drive the convertible back to the office to pick up tax stuff.
4. Call Bob Boyett (If you don't recognize the name you might recognize Miller-Boyett Productions...the peeps responsbile for Full House, Family Matters, Step by Step).
5. Type Senior Staff minutes
6. Update calendars
7. Schedule task force meeting with members from the Board of Trustees
8. Get Dixie Carter and Avery Brooks on the phone.

That's a good rounded summary of the kinds of things I do on a regular basis. Again, some of it is not the most appealing and mundane in nature but, as I said I'm in a place where I have infinite access to everything I want to learn about in this field and from the best of the best. Funny thing is, I've learned that MK is just a regular person like everyone else. Almost charming in his forgetful demeanor and child-like attitude towards certain things. Like his cat, for instance. Poor sucker had to get its back leg amputated. Not gonna to lie...its pretty funny to see a 3-legged cat with a plastic cone on its head scooting about on the hard wood flooring. Just'll chuckle too, I promise. Or the way I have to take a lent brush to his suits before speaking in front of an audience or attending a cocktail reception. The job isn't quite like Devil Wears Prada but similar in nature :) I'll let you know when I start jetsetting to NYC for business!

Hope everyone is doing well!