So I've been told that I'm bitchy, complain a lot, and never seem to be happy about anything. For those that don't know me well and read the blog you'll find that tends to be true. I guess my sarcastic, biting wit is a little overwhelming for folks and think of me as the Tranny Queen who has nothing better to do than talk about other people and how unhappy I am with the cards I've been dealt with on a regular basis.
Well, I'm here to set a few records straight. Please don't get me wrong...the following post does not mean that I'm going to stop complaining about boys, making fun of your ugly ballet flats you thought were a good idea but were not because they were on the sale rack at Marshalls, or being a sarcastic a*hole. Its all part of the package, I guess I just haven't given you the sweeter, more demur side of myself. (Did some of you just vom in your mouth a little bit? I did.)
Ok, in all seriousness I'm not as overdramatic and nasty as I tend to make myself out to be in my postings. I'm really, in my opinion, a pretty down to earth guy. I have a lot of love to give and HUGE heart...I just tend to have no one to share it with. Or when I do, its not reciprocated. So yeah, sometimes I'm bitter.
But who wouldn't be? I'm 25 years old, and granted that might be a little young...but this guy wants to settle down with someone. What's wrong in wanting that at such a young age? Half of the people I went to school with are either married, on they're way to getting married, OR they're already married and preggers or have 8 babies already. Now I may be ready to settle my ass down but I am NOT ready to take care of a child until at least the age of 37...maybe 40. One good thing about being a homo, you don't have a biological clock ticketing against you :) All we have to worry about is our wanning good looks which can be held astray with proper moisturizer and skin care! Speaking of which, I've started using the new Dove bodywash...amazing! I highly reccommend the grapefruit and lemongrass. Trust me, you won't be disappointed!
And as I think I've mentioned recently I've cut useless drama out of my life. I quit Managing Director which means absolutely no more dealing with issues and taking in stress from people telling you you're not good enough. I've also joined a gym...a rather cheap and crappy one, but hey I run 3 miles everytime I go and work out on the machines. Its good enough for my skinny ass and that's all that matters! I've been keeping up regularly and I hope I continue to keep it up. The goal is be able to fill out a t-shirt properly by the end of September and keep going from there.
I don't know though...I think about my life constantly and what I'm doing wrong. I am lonely, I'll admit. And there's a couple people out there that I think I would drop a lot to be with but I'm tired of making sacrafices and not having someone else take a risk too. Isn't that what living life and falling in love is all about? Taking a risk. If it doesn't work then you gave it your best shot and move on. But don't half ass around your feelings or waste my time or yours. And for all of you out there that think I'm flammingly overdramatic...kiss my ass. Mwahhh! I know more than you think and probably have the best advice out of anyone you'll ever meet. Why? Because I like to look at all the angles. And NEWSFLASH I love kids...only if they're well behaved BUT I'm good with them because I love people and they aren't anything more than bite-sized versions of adults. I realize that more and more...we're all hedonistic little children-bitches vying for that ever elusive place of happiness where we can sit back and say "I'm here and I'm satisfied."
Maybe that's why I write about all the negative angles. No one thinks getting what you want is funny. Its making fun of the fact that you were dumped via Facebook by an asshole or that small moment of insanity that drives you to by Liz Claiborne bronzer instead of Mac that people find amusing.
We're all in the same boat here aren't we? We just want to be happy and sometimes writing about the unhappy stuff in a tragic and tired way makes moving on a little easier. Work it out your own way and leave me to mine. If you don't like it...go to Kohl's or kiss my naught bits; whichever you prefer ;)
Love you mean it!
P.S. For clarification I am always the little spoon. In case you were wondering.