Well kids, I'm on furlough starting today for the entire week. I thought, hey since I have the time off, why don't I go home for a quiet vacation at my parents' house. I'll take my bestfriend and we'll pop on down to Va Beach for a few days and relax poolside drinking beer and enjoying being lazy.
If I ever think that'd be a good idea again...I want to you to force me into the Kohl's parking lot and threaten that you'll take me inside to shop. I'll learn my lesson, I promise.
Let me explain. Things have been fairly good up until yesterday. My mother thinks I'm mad at her because we're not hanging out downstairs or eating every meal with them. I love my mom but leave it to her to make me feel like I'm doing nothing right with my life. She's the kind of person that thinks everything is your fault...
ME: "Ma, I didn't sleep at all last night"
Mom: "Maybe it's because you feel guilty about spending money on useless things."
Me: "I don't feel well."
Mom: "Maybe you should of stayed home last night like I told you too."
Me: "I'm not happy with having to take a furlough."
Mom: "Maybe you should move back home and save money instead of wasting your time on something that you should throw yourself off a cliff if you think its going to get you any where in life."
Oooook ma...that's enough. She's extremely frustrating and the more annoyed you get the more she turns it on. Its like a sixth sense. She knows when she's getting on your nerves and she keep nagging and nagging until you explode. Then she gets upset that you said something. Um...please go knit quietly in the corner and get out of my face!
Straight Lady is here with me and keeping me as sane as she has humanly possible to do but it doesn't really help. We did, however, have a fabulous time Friday night reliving my Rainbow Cactus experience from last Thanksgiving. See my previous Rainbow Plant Post. This time I took my camera...at which point, during the drag show, a bouncer came up to Straight Lady and said "Ma'am, there is not picture taking in the club." What she should of said back is "Ok, I'll let you know when I'm in one!" She complied and I put the camera back in my car. We enjoyed the rest of our evening including our 8 drinks each and $30 bar tab. The music they played was ridiculous. I think I heard Love Game by Lady Gaga and I'm Bossy by Kelis at least 4 times each and NOT ONE time did I hear a single Britney song! I went up to the DJ, and I use that term loosely because I'm sure he burns sweet CD's from his Dell desktop at home and brings in the mixes, and asked him to play Britney. He asked me which song and I was like "Any will do!" ...I still didn't get any Britney.
I've used this time to reflect on my week as well. Last week was a big one for me. I made a lot of decisions that suprised me, scared me, upset me, and made me happy all at the same time. I quit my Managing Director post at the theatre company I've been spearheading for over a year. I decided to make a conscious effort to start saving money and finally get my ass to the city by January, and I called things off with the guy that I was seeing. All of these things were causing a lot of unnecessary complications in my life and I had to cut them out. Was it something I wanted to do? Yes and No. I really enjoyed being Managing Director...not a lot of people can say they do that at my age. A lot of people didn't think I was doing the best job, but I poured my heart in to that and took as much from it that I'll remember my time there for the rest of my life.
This really came from my decision to move in to the city. I work in the city, I play in the city...I belong in the city. And then lastly I stopped seeing the boy. That was a particularly upsetting decision but I decided that I'm not going to settle for anything less than what I deserve and I all I think I deserve is getting the feeling of being wanted. The one thing I still miss from The Ex is that feeling you get when you wake up in the morning and get excited to see one another. Or the way he called me Baby Duck. Or waited outside on his front stoop for me to drive up. Just little things that are important. And who knows, the boy might work out if things are different and situations change but I can't sit around and hope for something to happen that might not ever. Its just annoying because the more one wants to be in a relationship the less likely its going to happen and the less you think about the more likely its going to happen but not in the way you want it to work out.
Dating is dumb. Boys are really fucking stupid. And I'm the exception to the rule in being at the age of 25 and wanting to settle down with someone. Boys, get your shit together. I'm a catch :) Slightly high maintenance but nothing you can't handle with a kiss on the cheek and stupid obsession with say, BBQ sauce or late night wine and movies. Oh well...I guess I'll continue to focus on my carreer and taking the steps necessary to improve the quality of ME. I've joined a gym and I'm starting to go on a regular basis. I will move in to the city. And I will have the life that I've wanted to live for a long time. AND I will continue to uphold that I will not discount shop...unless of course I have a momentary lapse of sanity and do it anyway. (Confession: I went to Old Navy this weekend and bought not one but 2 lightweight zip up hoodies) They're adorable and you can't tell they're from Old Navy...but as on blogger to my readers I feel the need to confess accordingly. But I also got really cute underwear ;)
Ok, back to Food Network in the Kitchen...as I part just think about where you're at in life and ask yourself if you're happy. If you aren't, maybe its time for a change of pace. Throw out the kitchen sink and redecorate. Its not like anyone but me will judge you and matter...go for it. I'll tell you if you're wrong!
- ▼ July (3)