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Friday, August 14, 2009

Get Thee to a Nunnery...or the nearest Straight Bar


So Rabbi Steve and I are finished. Shocking right? Yeah I should of called time of death two weeks ago and saved myself the trouble of giving it a shot. Great guy, good times, but can't seem to figure his shit out. I'm so glad that I got to be the person that made him realize it. I guess I bring that out in people...like a magnet for self discovery and realization. Too bad I can't exude that on people without having to touch them or get invested in their personal well being. Like some gay super power that I could use to prevent the mexicans and their 8 children from walking in to that Kohl's on their 50% off day. Just. Say. No. I, of course, spoke to Ms. Glickman about everything because she's the one who more or less steered me and the Rabbi in to each other and she calmly explained that, like the Rabbi, she too is jaded and kind of put things in perspective for me regarding his tranny behavior.

Meanwhile, to his credit, he did do it in person which I have to offer up props to as every other asshole I've dated hasn't had so much the courtesy to do that like the mature people I want to think we all are.

Anyway...it doesn't mean it still doesn't tick me off. I guess I just see myself as jaded but if I don't put myself out there and try then I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life and become nothing more than a bitter old man with all of his good looks wasted. Let's be honest here, I will age gracefully and the salt and pepper hair I know I'm going to get...beautiful!!

Ok in all seriousness, I sit and I complain about boys and I sit and get to be hurt and cry about things sometimes and get angry...why? Because I put myself out there and on the line EVERY single time. I get that it takes a long time to get over things and move on but what are you supposed to be doing in the interim? When is it going to be time to stop sitting in the corner feeling sorry for yourself and the things that have been done to you and get back on the wagon? You can't be any worse off than you already were/are so what is there to lose?

But I get it. Dating is hard and its difficult to just put yourself out there. And, for me, I need a break. I'm all for giving things a go around with guys and giving them the benefit of the doubt...what I am tired of is getting those stupid girl feelings and sharing your excitment about the "new guy" with all of your friends. "Oh this one's different." "He's not like everyone else." "I know I won't get myself caught up but..." Vom. Get outta my face. Its doing that and then having to turn right around like a big embarassed fool to tell everyone it didn't work out. I think that's what takes most of my energy. The fact that you have to face your friends with your tail between your legs like a dog that peed on the carpet and knows it was the wrong thing to do.

So I'm taking a break. No more dating, no more gay bars, no more boys. Other than my previous engagement for Showtunes on Monday...no more JRs. I deleted my online accounts...and by accounts I mean just one, and, NO, it was not Manhunt. I want to stay the hell away from gay men and I want them to stay the hell away from me. You people continue to waste my time. And when I am ready to get back in to the swing of things I'm going to put together a little cheat sheet and hand it to potential daters. A little Welcome Packet to my life, if you will. An Orientation Guide to me. That way I don't actually have to talk about the things that I look for in my life and you can decide if you want to buy what I'm selling...which CLEARLY, at this point no one seems to want and I'm sick of pushing. You should now that I'm never on sale or a discounted rate...what you see is what you get and I do nothing but exude that from the beginning.

Word of advice. Ask yourself what it is that you want. When you can answer that, go and get it and be damn sure that when you find it you're grateful to keep it. Chances are its rare and, most of the time, doesn't come along more than once. Unlike the sale days at Marshalls...which are as frequent as the hooker I see patrolling the 14th street corridor Tues-Sat. Best of luck in your endeavors...you can find me at the straight bars or at home watching movie trailers with a glass of wine.

JJ

2 comments:

Toby said...

I'm sorry you guys didn't work out. You should have done what I told you to do and converted.

Just Jack said...

Its ok its not like we were dating that long and I think I'll convert for the hell of it anyway!